master_obiwan: (Don't Wanna Be Alone)
Title: Thank You

“The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present."
- Barbara De Angelis

Character: Obi-Wan Kenobi
Fandom: Star Wars
Word Count: 262
Rating: PG
Warnings: Bit spoilerish if you haven't read Secrets of the Jedi by Jude Watson.
Disclaimer: George Lucas owns Star Wars. Lucas is King. If he doesn't like me pilfering his characters, he can have his merchandise back.
Summary: Obi-Wan meditates on his past, and on the one woman who taught him how to let go of the past so he could bring hope to the future.
Author's Notes: This was originally written for [ profile] fanfic100. Added a line or so for this rendition.


He was meditating in his hut, sitting cross-legged, arms resting on his knees, eyes closed. The crystal Siri had given him rested in one hand, the warmth of it heavy on his skin. There was no way it could compete with the dry, scorching, sun-induced fever during the day, so he left this particular meditation for the deepest hours of night, when the air and the sand had given up their heat to rest in cool silence. He used this time to reflect on those that had been lost. It still overwhelmed him, sometimes, but as sudden and as violent as it had happened, he kept turning to her.

Would she have survived, had she not died so early on in the war? And if so, where would she be now? What would she be doing? Would they feel free to love one another, now that the formal institution of the Jedi had been demolished, or would they continue to cling to their ideals even now, in the loneliness of isolation?

Would he even tell her where he was hiding and for what purpose? Or would he leave her in the dark, as he had had to leave her one-time Padawan?

He meditates on these things, and more, knowing deep down that he would not be the person he is, the Jedi he is, had she survived that mission. She had taught him to live with an open heart, and to not let the pain of the past colour his perception of the present. And for that lesson, he thanks her continually.
master_obiwan: (Patience)
master_obiwan: (sorrow)
In his dreams he still feels the cooling of his skin as the beloved features twist in the throes of the dying. The voice he had treasured with every heartbeat still rasped, as the struggle to breathe became a war to survive. His heart continues to shatter into a million pieces as the one that had given him so much, had lived by his side for so long goes limp. He still feels the embrace as he holds the lifeless body close to him; still feels the tears as they cascade down his cheeks, bathing the silken hair of a Master.

In his dreams, he still sees the fire in her eyes as she rebukes him, says matter-of-factly that she's dying. He still feels the loss of all those years of enmity between them, even as the rightness of their renewed love has restored him to wholeness. His mind still tries to deny what she tells him, convinces himself that she can be saved, if only she can hold on. The warmth of her body next to his as he holds her still flows through him. He still recalls the tenderness of her voice as they gaze at each other for the last time. He still feels the anguish as her essence flows into the Force, as part of him dies with her.

In his dreams he still feels the heat of the world, can still hear the clash of lightsabres. He can still hear the roar of the rushing lava, and the taunts coming from a voice that is all together familiar yet not from the same mouth. His soul still screams as the universe he knew implodes around him in a cascade failure of morality. The other half of his being burns along with the one whom he had once called 'brother'. He can still see hope and light and goodness melt into the liquid darkness as it spreads and corrupts and asphyxiates. He still sees the anguish in the charred eyes as hatred spills over where sorrow and guilt used to live.

In the waking world, he sees the lines of heartache and the hollow gaze of one who is waiting for destiny to catch up. He feels the sorrows of a lifetime as a burden that sags his once noble stature. He lives in a galaxy he no longer recognizes as his own. He no longer remembers what love - whether it be that of a son to a father, that of lover to lover, or that of best friends and brothers - feels like. He no longer remembers the touch of another; a concerned caress, a tender embrace, a reassuring hand...their specters linger over him, but they grow fainter with each passing hour.

He knows only the shadow of desperate hope and the awareness that he will not live to see things put right.

This is his sacrifice for the people he had loved.

x-posted to [ profile] theatrical_muse
master_obiwan: (Jedi Master)
[right after this]

It doesn't take long for Obi-Wan to recover from his shock at seeing the note on his comm console and actually send an encoded message back to Master Yoda about this Sith Tomb business.

The next person he needs to tell is Siri. But that will have to wait for after this first planning meeting, where they can hopefully establish Obi-Wan as the renegade Jedi more solidly.

When Siri and Anakin show up, they'll find him standing next to the holo-table, with the same officials from the night before seated in front of him, waiting for them to arrive with that Intel data he requested at breakfast.

master_obiwan: (Default)
Two hours passes quickly when one is prepping for a mission, but for Obi-Wan they couldn't pass quickly enough. He was so eager to see his friend Garen that he had actually finished his packing and gathering the data and gear he would be needing almost an hour before he was due to be in the hanger.

Which is why he was now pacing the afore-mentioned hanger and searching the skies periodically, pack slung on his back, hands tucked in the sleeves of his robe. He manages to not jump up and down in absolute glee when he sees the ship approach and glide gracefully into the hanger 15 minutes before their departure time.

As soon as the ramp lowers, Obi-Wan skips up it and reaches the cockpit as Garen emerges. The two friends embrace, giving each other great back-slaps and holding each other out at arm's length to give once-overs. They talk over each other as sentences are started by one and completed by the other.

Which is how Anakin will find them when he shows up...


master_obiwan: (Default)
Obi-Wan Kenobi

August 2015

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